Sure, I’ve seen her hanging around before, that cute little full round figure dangling winsomely from a neighborhood tree, garbed in ultrabright, almost neon green.

I’d even taken one or two for a spin on the ol’ dinner plate, but her type just never struck me as anything, well, special.

Maybe she just wasn’t mature enough yet for a cultured (as in yogurt) man of the jungle like unto myself…or maybe I just never considered her kind ripe with any intriguing possibilities.

But that’s all changed now!

She was soft; exactly soft enough to give that telling thrill under the fingers that promises a night of sweet tropical pleasure.

And the way she let me slip off that brilliant green skin of hers and dip into the fragrant flesh below with my paring knife was exactly what I hoped might happen; before I knew it she was oiled up and in the cast iron pan offering me all her fragrant charms.

And when I finally worked up the nerve to bring her to my lips, tossed with a little mesquite-broiled turkey, a dollop of honey and a dash of salt, it was all over for the previously fickle Jungle Dave.

I am done with the fleshpots of lesser fruit; ULU and I will be an item Forevermore.

OMG! Breadfruit is completely amazing at this stage of perfect ripeness.

And it’s versatile enough to be used in a huge variety of dishes, starchy and filling like a baked potato in its adolescence, perfect with butter and sour cream…

As the sweetness develops in her riper stages, ULU can be pan-fried in a bit of oil, as I did tonight, and successfully combined with other fruit; with meats; baked or panfried with flavorings common to what you might enjoy at Cinnabon; or in any one of a hundred tantalizing recipes that guarantee gustatorial and connubial-like bliss!

Nom-nom-nom-nom…what’s that, darling? People are staring?

Ha! People be damned! Let them stare. We have EACH OTHER now.

Wowza! What a gal!

What I had tonight reminded me of a variety of childhood delights, of many of my favorite sweet comfort foods, or maybe the best pancakes I ever fantasized about, when I fantasize about pancakes…that’s awkward, I realize…

But don’t judge our love! It’s true, and forever.

I LOVE you ULU! There, I’ve admitted it.

And judging by the delightfully warm feeling deep in my tummy…you feel the same way about Jungle Dave.

Now…about your parents…and did I mention I was raised Catholic?

I wonder what the Pope charges these days for a special dispensation…