Ahhhh, SUNDAY! 

I’ve never been so glad to see a day in my entire life. It’s been a tough week, sorta.

But Sunday has always had the magic of peace and contentment in it for me, a feeling I can remember loving even as a young child.

It is my Day of Recuperation, my designated Day of Thankfulness, the day my heart seems most open and my spirit is at its lightest.

As for the previous week…

I was at the local Walmart in Hilo picking up a few needed items that Foodland just doesn’t have (my Foodland post is on my page somewhere; it’s the only nearby option but is still a good half-hour away from my jungle home).

While checking out at Walmart I put my utility bag on the counter, and never saw it again.

It had basically my entire legal and financial life in it – all my ID’s, all my money, all my recent records – and even after checking the Walmart security videotape, it is still completely unclear what happened to it.

What the…!!! GAD!

So Jungle Dave was a bit stressed out. It is one of those things of which I had a long-abiding dread.

Here on the island, thievery is sometimes considered an admirable skill; there are many barely making it, and personal belongings sometimes are seen as community resources. Hm.

So, restless and uncomfortable night, lots of talking to God, a fair bit of anxiety racing the engine of the mind…

The next day, my friend loaned me a bit of cash so I wouldn’t starve, and I tucked it into the pocket of my camo cargo shorts and went to Keaau to do laundry and think about how to recoup.

One thing was certain, I had to make another trip to Hilo to file a police report and check once more at Walmart just…in…case…

After putting my clothes in the dryer, I went across the street to get gas, reached into the pocket of my shorts, and NO DOUGH!

Frantic car search! Desperate phone calls! Pleading prayers to my Creator!

But that money was probably hitch-hiking in someone else’s shorts by then; no one had seen anything at the laundry, and if it had somehow found its way to ground level, even I would have to consider it up for grabs.

So tthere was nothing for it but to hie my dejected spirit back to the jungle and wonder what I had done to deserve THIS!

The combination of anger, disgust, and depression is an odd one, and all I wanted to do was lie down and make the world go away. So I did.

After feeding chickens and collecting eggs.

The next day, I had to go into Keaau again where I managed to briefly lose my iPhone.

Now, THAT is REAL panic.

Tears came to my eyes as I sat in the car wondering what was going on here. I spent a few minutes trying to calm down and ask God for some kind of break, then wiped off the water and went into Foodland.

Someone had turned it in.

Saved by the grocery cart boy! I will tip them at every place I shop hereafter.

But the real question for me, living as I do now in a state of surrender to what I percieve as the will of God for my life, is this: what was I really afraid of? What was the root of my distress?

That God was abandoning me because I had lost money? After all, that is something of the subtext in my subconscious, probably a byproduct of associating material wealth with the favor of God.

In our society, this has become insidious, but it is not the truth.

Was I freaking because I had no ID? Did this negate me as an American citizen? Maybe they’ll finally deport me after all!

A stupid fear, but It’s in the wind, as we all know, as our government and media do everything in their power to make us question our own legitimacy as citizens and human beings…

But I think the actual dynamic is this: if I am indeed serious in my intention to put my life in God’s care, then these lifelong fears must also be set aside, and given the context they deserve.

I have to make a choice – either trust that every aspect of my existence is now being handled for me in the same way it was when God formed me in my mother’s womb, when everything I needed to become ‘me’ just showed up in God’s time, including this big nose that is something of my calling card; or take it all back and tell God that thanks, I’ll handle it from here because YOU can’t even keep an eye on my stuff…

Well, God’s already shown me who the knucklehead really is; saw him in the mirror just this morning.

So today, this beautiful, soul-healing, flower-and-fun-filled day no matter what else I have or don’t, I have decided to give God another crack at it.

And I consciously release any claim on the former possessions that God passed through me on the way to their new owners, because there is no doubt that they are in greater need than am I.

You see, after all my weeping and wailing, my distress and disgust at the world and my own stupidity, I come back to the fact that God has taken the trouble to make use of me; that I have been led through the Valley of the Shadow of Death more than once. There surely is a reason for this even if I won’t know until later what it is.

I have never once been abandoned by my Creator; these ‘problems’ are not what they seem, but are a way to see the things that happen to me in the world as lessons in trust.

I trust you, God. Thank you for what you have made of very poor cloth, and for putting into my hands the entire world.

I got the lesson.

And now, I’m going to collect eggs, look at exotic flowers, and wait for whatever is next!

(Da pics: me before coffee; my Batman loafers, purchased on clearance for THREE BUCKS!; and the view from my (temporary) Bed of Woe in Hoop House; organic eggs produced by our Korean Natural Farming methods…)

ALOHA!