I dont care if the curd is LARGE or small,
Just bring me what you got and I’ll eat it all

It’s fabulous snackin’ in my bed at night
And when I wake up in the mornin’ my beard’s all white

But I like it without chemicals, locust bean gum
No polysorbate 60 ’cause that’s just dumb

No artificial flavors or monoglyceride
If I see it on the label it gets tossed outside

But I love it with my fruit, or my chicken and peas
Yes, it’s really very versatile, cottage cheese!

Four percent milkfat cottage cheese
You can put it on the bites that you get from fleas

You can make yourself a poultice for a bad bee sting
Pretty sure the dang stuff can heal anything!

Every evening when I’m prayin’ on my poor old knees
I ask God to keep on makin’ me cottage cheese!

(This epic song is not sponsored by the Dairy Council…but heck, don’t you think they should chip in a little somethin’?)